Volunteer Spotlight: Mick Manley

This month’s Volunteer Spotlight is shining on Mick Manley of the Metro Area LOSS Team. Mick has been part of our LOSS Team since it launched in 2015 — a rare and remarkable level of commitment, especially considering that kind of longevity isn’t common for many teams. We also don’t see a lot of men in this role, which makes Mick’s presence even more meaningful. He speaks powerfully about men’s mental health and is deeply passionate about breaking down the stigma that too often surrounds it. We are so grateful to have Mick on our team!

In His Own Words…

What do you like about volunteering with the LOSS Team?

I like that my own loss can help someone else through theirs. It makes something painful feel like it has a purpose.

What drove or inspired you to volunteer with the LOSS Team after your loss?

I learned about The Kim Foundation and the LOSS Team at a fundraiser of a family friend who died by suicide. At the time I was really trying to get more involved in the community and felt like it was something I needed to be a part of.

Male LOSS Team members are few and far between for some teams. How do you feel your role on the team has been impactful when interacting with the newly bereaved after their loss?

Even with all the progress we’ve made, there’s still a strong idea in society that men have to be tough and hide their emotions. Vulnerability doesn’t come easy for a lot of men. I’ve had men pull me aside during call-outs because they wanted to talk privately. I think they saw someone who looked like them and felt they wouldn’t be judged or seen as weak. I’ve noticed that when I open up, when I say I was sad, destroyed, or that I broke down — it gives them permission to do the same. I’ve seen some men go from arms crossed and guarded, to opening up in a way that really surprised me. In those moments, I know my presence made a difference.

Any particular LOSS Team/call-out story that touched/impacted you the most, or always sticks with you?

During one of our December Call-a-Thons, I reached out to a gentleman who had lost a loved one that year. In the case notes, it said he wasn’t really interested in talking and was unhappy with how the cops handled the situation. I remember I figured the call wouldn’t be a long one, but I was wrong. It ended up being almost an hour if I remember right. He really opened up and it’s probably my biggest impact on the team because that person ended up joining the Loss team and doing so much more. It’s a situation like that, where you really feel like you must volunteer.  The ripple effect from that is immeasurable.  I think of all the people that could be like that man, who need that little push, or perhaps need that little light at the end of the tunnel to get them through.

I was at another call-out one time with a ton of people, probably 20-30, and a man in his 70’s asked if he could talk to me. He made mention of my beard and that he felt comfortable around me. I don’t remember the full conversation, but I’ll never forget the feeling that even something as simple as showing up and looking like someone they relate to can make a huge difference. I knew then that I needed to be part of this team so people, especially men, know it’s okay to talk.

Anything else you’d like to say about mental health awareness, suicide prevention, or LOSS Teams in general?

Suicide loss is different. It just hits you in a way that’s hard to explain. After my dad died, I felt every emotion you can imagine. Now, I try to be the light at the end of the tunnel for people who feel like they’re stuck in the dark. I want them to know that even if it seems impossible right now, you can get through this. You can be happy again. And one day, you might even be the light for someone else.